Selected collection of most funny and short love quotes and sayings.
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. – Melanie Clark
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Cecilia Egan
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen
A light heart lives long. – William Shakespeare
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight. – Phyllis Diller
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. – H.L. Mencken
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen
All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.- Shelley Winters
True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.- Rod Boschim
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. – Joyce Brothers
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.- Steve Martin
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho Marx
It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon
The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.- Bacon Carlyle
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. – Joan Rivers
The only people who make love all the time are liars. – Louis Jordan
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. – Samuel Johnson
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty. – Rita Rudner
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all. – Thomas Hardy
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. – Woody Allen
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. – Oscar Wilde
Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries. – Cher
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. – Woody Allen
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question. – Lily Tomlin
It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up. – Joan Rivers
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. – Natalie Wood
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? – Rita Rudner
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best. – Woody Allen
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn
Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity. – Friedrich Nietzsche
Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires. – Mark Kissinger
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What… does a woman want?” – Freud
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. – Somerset Maugham
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein
Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – George Kissinger
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. – Mark Twain
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. – Cher
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. – Walt Disney
Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff
Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say! – Cecilia Egan
I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands. – Dudley Moore
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. – Glenn Beck
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. – Woody Allen
When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you. And she never did. – James Fineous McBride
Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate. – Sandra J. Dykes
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. – Melanie Griffith